On Anxiety
One of the best saying I've applied in my life is this, often attributed to the Dalai Lama:
If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.
I always repeat this quote whenever I get anxious. As an example: I am deadly afraid of flying. Whenever I get onto a plane, I repeat this mantra on my head. I tell myself: I have no control over the plane, the pilots, the weather and that's okay. Planes are pretty resilient. And even if it is not, well, let's go back to the first point. Why worry? If it falls, it falls!
Anxiety is such a silent killer. Whenever I get unbearably anxious, I try to take my blood pressure with this nifty small machine that my wife bought. No surprise, my BP's high, and consistent high blood pressure - caused by consistently bad anxiety - can't be good for your health.
I find meditation as a good preventative cure for anxiety. When I meditate, I feel calm and anchored to the ground - I am only feeling the now, the present moment, my breathing, the blood on my veins, the space occupied by my body. I feel invincible, not because I feel I can take on the world and its problems, but in the sense that those problems do not affect me at this very moment. If I do, it's like water, I am allowed to feel them but I am also allowed to let them go for a while until I can take them on in the future.
I just hope I don't forget meditating for the day because as I said, it's only preventative. I cannot meditate when anxiety is already there because the bad thoughts are already present and I cannot find the energy to anchor myself to the ground.
So I keep trying. That’s really all I can do. I repeat the mantra, I breathe, I meditate when I remember to, and I forgive myself when I don’t. Some days I’m grounded, some days I’m spiraling, and some days I’m somewhere in between, but I’ve learned that even in the mess, there’s space to be gentle with myself. And maybe that’s enough.
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