In Sickness
Hello. I need help.
I am suffering from severe depression. It has been eight years - since 2018 - when I started to feel this way. I don't know. Everybody is asking for a trigger but I don't know what that is, what that specific event was. All I know is that I am suffering right now.
Childhood? Perfectly fine. A bit isolated from my peers, but it did not bother me so much. I love reading books (read: Goosebumps) and playing Flash games in the computer. My friends were my brothers, and they were the ones who influenced me to try to be smart, to be bookish. I aspire to be like them, even now.
Teens? This is now where isolation became a bit wonky, even for me. I had a specific friend group back in high school but we went our different ways after we started college. I had a blast in college but still, I feel like I did not make any friends. I only communicate with four, five people from college nowadays.
Writing this seems pointless. I just want to be well. I feel guilty for my wife. She would have an awesome life if not for me. All I do at her is to whine. Whine, whine, whine. I'm such a loser. She deserves someone better.
I wonder if this is the last note I am going to write here. Whine, whine, whine.
Goodbye.